Stupid User Tricks, Vol. 1
End users are IT’s worst nightmare. They have a nearly inexhaustible capacity for misusing and damaging equipment, misunderstanding instructions and applications, and ignorance for how technology works. The Spiceworks community of IT professionals and service providers maintains a rolling list of stupidest questions end users ask. Here’s a sampling.
Drippy Users
A user asks why his computer wouldn’t turn on. The tech notices water dripping out of the PC vents. The user said, "Oh yeah, I spilled water on my desk. Could that be the problem?"A college student brings her PC to a retail store for a warranty repair. The tech discovers the PC had been submerged. She admitted that she had gotten drunk and accidently tossed the machine into a pool. The PC was fixed and she went on her merry way. Two weeks later, she came back. Guess what had happened?
eMail on Demand
A director-level manager spent 40 minutes arguing that she couldn’t access her email. Tech support tried to explain that she needed to logon to the system to receive messages. Tech support physically showed her how logging in gave her access to the messages. When finished, the director said, "You guys need to fix this…I should be able to get my mail whenever I want, whether I log in or not!"
What a Stretch
A warehouse worker called the help desk about a keyboard that was missing several keys and, more importantly, not working. Tech support discovered that keys were missing. He also discovered why it wasn’t working with the user’s PC. Turns out the user took the keyboard off a coworker’s desk, but didn’t disconnect it from the computer.
Willing to Risk Exposure
A user gets a notice that an email was quarantined because it contained a virus. The help desk advises that the sender must clean the file of the malware and resend the message. The user asks, "Can’t you just turn off-the antivirus long enough for me to get this email?"
Return to Sender
An executive turns to his help desk after his Blackberry stops connecting to the Exchange server to retrieve emails. The tech spent several hours trouble shooting by himself and with Blackberry. Out of desperation, he turns to T-Mobile only to discover that the executive didn’t pay his bill. The executive said, "I didn’t think the email and the phone calls would be disconnected at the same time."
Not Making the Connection
An office worker calls the help desk after his printer wouldn’t print. The help desk asks if the two cords are connected – the serial cable between the PC and the printer, and the printer power cable to the wall outlet. The serial cable was connected, but power cord was plugged into a disconnected power strip. The user said, "Oh, I thought it was one of those cordless ones."
Simply Powerless
A remote user calls the help desk because he cannot access the Internet. The IT admin asks whether the user has restarted his PC and checked all the cables or the wireless access point. The user replies, "Well, I can’t turn on my computer. There’s a power outage."
Square Peg, Round Drive
A corporate vice president says that he’s having trouble getting the floppy disc in her PC. The admin goes searching for this mythical dinosaur unit that still uses floppies. Upon entering the executive’s office, he sees the floppy disc jammed into a CD drive. To avoid embarrassing the executive, he said, "don’t worry about it; this stuff happens all the time."
Ghost in the Machine
A school teacher calls the VAR on site doing work to look at her possessed PC. She says that every time she types something, the word processor mysteriously displays "I am Satan. I am Satan." Freaked out, she begged for help. The admin discovered that a savvy student set the auto-correct to replace "the" with the demonic statement. No need for the exorcism.
Dictionary Double Check
A remote user couldn’t connect to the corporate network with the VPN. After two hours of troubleshooting over the phone, tech support drove to the user’s home to determine and repair the problem. Turns out the user was continually misspelling the VPN password.
Crossing the Chasm
A solution provider installs dual-monitor on the workstations in a corporate office. One user asks, "What happens to the cursor when it crosses the gap between the two monitors?" Really, is there anything you can say to that?
‘Any’ Thing for a Laugh
How often do applications or automated phone systems prompt users to press any key to proceed to the next step. Of course, the Spiceworks community is replete with stories of users asking help desks and IT techs where the "Any" key is on the keyboard. Check back for more great "Stupid User Tricks" or send your horror stories to channelinsider@ziffdavisenterprise.com.